PUBLIC MARKS from talsi123 with tags funny & joke

Three people, 2 men and 1 woman, and their dogs are in the Vets waiting room. The first man's dog asked the second man's dog what he's there for. They are putting me down.

Construction worker on the 5th floor of a building needed a handsaw. So he spots another worker on the ground floor and yells down to him, but he can't hear him. So the worker on the 5th floor tries sign language.

A very elderly couple is having an elegant dinner to celebrate their 75th wedding anniversary. The old man leans forward and says softly to his wife, “Dear, there is something that I must ask you. It has always bothered me that our tenth child never quite looked like the rest of our children. Now I want to assure you that these 75 years have been the most wonderful experience I could have ever hoped for, and your answer cannot take that all that away. But, I must know, did he have a different father?” The wife drops her head, unable to look her husband in the eye, she paused for moment and then confessed. “Yes, yes he did.” The old man is very shaken, the reality of what his wife was admitting hit him harder than he had expected. With a tear in his eye he asks “Who? Who was he? Who was the father?” Again the old woman drops her head, saying nothing at first as she tried to muster the courage to tell the truth to her husband. Then, finally, she says, “You.”

The Ending is just too painful.... A man is out in the Chinese wilderness and he's hopelessly lost. It's been nearly three weeks since he's eaten anything besides what he could forage and he's been reduced to sleeping in caves and under trees. One afternoon he comes upon an old mansion in the woods. It has vines covering most of it and the man can't see any other buildings in the area. However, he sees smoke coming out of the chimney implying someone is home.

A guy is suffering from severe headaches for years with no relief. After trying all the usual cures he’s referred to a headache specialist by his family doctor. The doctor asks him what his symptoms are and he replies, “I get these blinding headaches; kind of like a knife across my scalp and...’’ He is interrupted by the doctor. “And a heavy throbbing right behind the left ear?” “Yes! Exactly! How did you know?” “Well I am the world’s greatest headache specialist, you know. But I myself suffered from that same type of headache for many years. It is caused by a tension in the scalp muscles. This is how I cured it: Every day I would give my wife oral sex. When she came she would squeeze her legs together with all her strength and the pressure would relieve the tension in my head. Try that every day for two weeks and come back and let me know how it goes”. Two weeks go by and the man is back. “Well, how do you feel?” the doctor asked. “Doc, I’m a new man! I feel great! I haven’t had a headache since I started this treatment! I can’t thank you enough. And by the way, you have a lovely home.”

A guy sticks his head into a barber shop and asks, "How long before I can get a haircut?" The barber looks around the shop and says, "About 2 hours." The guy leaves.

Some reasons for not messing up wid children!

A taxi passenger tapped the driver on the shoulder to ask him a question. The driver screamed, lost control of the car, nearly hit a bus, went up on the footpath, and stopped centimeters from a shop window. For a second everything went quiet in the cab

Son (S) : Why is making love so enjoyable. Father (F) : It is just like the sensation when you are digging your nose with your finger !! S : Why do women enjoy sex more than man F : It is because when you dig your nose, your nose feels more comfort t

You may have seen vehicles with wheel…………… (2Wheeler, 3 Wheeler, 4wheeler… etc…) You may have seen chairs with wheel… (Wheel Chair….) But have you have ever seen a tree with A Wheel…………….. Get ready for the 8th wonder..

God in Joking Mood!