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April 2007

Gonzales Mulls Senate Strategy

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“It’s sort of de facto that officials trooping up to Capitol Hill to testify are going to elect to go the ‘truth’ route,” says Yale associate professor of legislative studies Hugh Miller. “Wouldn’t it be novel if Gonzalez decided to turn the tables and go ‘dare’?”

February 2007

Extreme Makeover to Tackle Walter Reed

The host of ABC’s Emmy-winning hit show Extreme Makeover, Home Edition confirmed Wednesday that the show would soon be enlisting an army of workmen to wage war on a very special target. “We’re going to Walter Reed Army Medical Center, and we’re going to bring hope to those brave, rundown soldiers,” said Ty Pennington at a Wednesday morning press conference.

Early Problem Plagues Police Tour

Mere hours after announcing their first tour in almost 40 years, The Police have already run into a roadblock in the form or a 6’3” aging prostitute with a familiar name. “I don’t have to walk the streets for money, not with that song out there again,” Roxanne says, her tired eyes scanning the gray crowd for signs of a mark with shallow pockets.

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Alberto Gonzalez   Extreme Makeover   Roxanne   Senate Judiciary Committee   Walter Reed   attorney general   humor   satire   sting   the police  

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