PUBLIC MARKS with search dowsing

You want to be defective, unwanted, injured, outcast, neglected, hurting You want your self-care to be burdensome (mom over-babied you and now you feel you must over-baby yourself, that you're fragile) The truth is... nothing's wrong with you. You just keep picking at your old wounds. Why? To trigger the lovingkindness of soothing and comfort that follows your pain. You want anything that will allow you to finally receive soothing, comforting, mothering love. To be "deserving" of that kind of love, you feel you must first feel hurt. "Mother" to you is a figure of comfort, of soothing your hurts. So, you go around looking for hurts, for old hurts, for new hurts, for any reason, any thing that you can then justify your desire for mothering, soothing, comforting lovingkindness. A better idea: Instead of looking to be the victim in order to get this kind of lovingkindness, try preemptively providing it to yourself, dowsing yourself in good, healthy, unlimiting lovingkindness, just because, just because it feels good to you, to your spirit, to your soul. Then you will stop seeking pain, and start embracing love. Then you will stop hurting yourself in order to feel love and comfort. Peace. H/F S