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Cover letters are all the same. They're useless. You write the same lies over and over again, listing the store-bought parts of yourself that you respect the least. God knows how they tell anyone apart, but this is how it's done.
And then one day a car comes out of nowhere, and suddenly everything changes and you don't know if he'll ever wake up. You get out of bed in the morning, and when you sit down to write another paint-by-numbers cover letter, something entirely different comes out.
You start threatening instead of begging. You tell impolite jokes. You talk about your childhood and your sexual fantasies. You sign your real name and you put yourself honestly into letter after letter and there is no way you are ever going to get this job. Not with a letter like this.
And you send it anyway.
1. Don't use Twitter to spam me about visiting. 2. It's okay if you start by just following. 3. Once you decide to tweet, make it interesting. 4. Tell me something I can't find on your homepage. 5. Tell me who you are. 6. Respond to people 7. Give me content worthy of your institution. Twitter "radio stations" : * Funny things said by visitors. * Guard feed! (Thanks for the idea, Shelley.) * Institutional superstitions or weird things about the building. * The imagined experiences of a famous artifact, heavily loved interactive, or other institutional mascot (see this Twitter feed, which I doubt is written by AMNH staff). * Haiku about museum work. * A daily or weekly feature on a specific topic. * Jokes, recipes, quotes, and interesting facts. Do you know why there are naked ladies on the front of ships? * Weird and surprising behind-the-scenes victories and challenges. What's it like to prep an exhibition on poop? * Topical, provocative questions.
LIKE English wine, it has suffered from the taint of inauthenticity and has been the butt of condescending jokes. But now Japanese whisky has scotched its critics by being voted the best in the world, ahead of its Scottish rivals. Yoichi 20-year-old, distilled on the shores of the Sea of Japan, has become the first variety produced outside Scotland to win the coveted single malt award in an international competition run by Whisky Magazine, the industry bible.
Mr. Berlusconi, It's time to quit the jokes
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Frank Caliendo impersonates every character from Seinfeld in this video.
This shows that engineers are remarkable fellas (no I m not an engineer).
Yes! Those two funerals would have been worth attending. And how would people keep laughters from bursting out?